"Especially those without kids"

The other day, a FB friend wrote a post that really irked me (she must have removed it as it's now gone - maybe someone agreed with my thoughts below and made a comment to her).  It was a link to an article about saying things to other peoples kids; her comment was something to the effect of 'Please read this article and take note.  Especially those without kids'.

Of course this irks me.  Am I wrong in being irritated that she singles out those w/o kids?  WTH.  Of course, she has the perfect family and has no idea how this could be taken from an IF.   Don't get me wrong, she's a nice person, I think she just didn't realize how this could be interpreted (which is maybe why it was taken down?).  This is the same person that I was talking to (with another child-hopeful friend) over the summer about still struggling with IF and she said 'you always want what you can't have'.  Ouch.

The FB comment reminded me of the movie As Good As It Gets with Helen Hunt and Jack Nicholson (great movie btw).  When he goes to her apartment and says hello to her 8 year old. The child doesn't respond and Jack says you should respond when someone is talking to you.

Clearly it's not your place to discipline someone else's child.  It's not those sans kids, it's those with no manners.

Thank.you.very.much.  Anyone agree/disagree?

Cheers!


PG update (please move on if this Pg update is a sensitive topic)...
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I can't believe I'm saying this, but today actually puts me mid-way through my second trimester (??!!).  How did we get so blessed?  From Dr Google, at this point, baby would have a 75-90% survival rate (with medical intervention obviously).

What a difference a year makes.  Last year at this time, we were on IUI#2 and we were devastated that it was cancelled. We were then off to a fabulous trip to the Caribbean where we drank and ate our troubles away..

xo

Being pregnant while having IF friends

****If Infertility is a sensitive subject or you are dealing with sensitive IF issues, please feel free to skip this post as this discusses IF & pregnancy. Thank you for reading and Happy NY - this is a start to a new year *****

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Being IF for just under 4 years means I obviously still have IF friends.  Bloggers, Facebook, Real life, etc.  I'm sure it's super tough for them to see me, talk to me, etc and it's totally understandable.  I've been there.  I've been the one skipping showers, dismissing emails/texts/calls, hiding them on Facebook because I couldn't bear to hear about pregnancy, baby bellies, etc.  It's just heartbreaking.  My heart truly breaks for everyone suffering from IF.  It really is an unspoken disease and I hope by blogging, I have helped even one person <3

The reason for this post is being in this situation, I have no idea what to do.  How would I have wanted my 'IF graduated' friends to act?  Do?  And thinking back, nothing.  Stop emailing me, stop texting/calling and just go about your life until that baby belly is gone and you have a healthy baby.  Somehow, for me, the sting was less when the baby arrived.

The problem with that, is that is just not me.  I'm not one to ignore my IF friends just because I'm pregnant.  I understand they have no desire to hear about my pregnancy and I respect that.
Some people say when you're formerly overweight, you're still the 'fat person' inside (meaning no disrespect), well I'm still the IF girl inside.

I know I just have to realize that life changes and there will be some people that just can't bear to see me/us.  And I totally get it.  I just have a hard time with letting go I guess..These people have gotten me through rough times and I am not one to forget about them.

For now, I must respect their (silent) wishes and let them be, hoping that someday we will reconnect and praying that they will too will experience this gift.  Have faith.

source

xo
Cheers

IF friends

It's been a long time since I've talked to any IF friends.  Mostly because they've all left the IF club and have kids.  From all of these 'friends' I have one, yes ONE, that is still sympathetic to IF. ONE who actually remembers what it's like. She is in her late 30s and has two little adorable - quite a handful - little boys.

The others are all 'the baby this' and 'the baby that' and every friggen post on FB is about the baby and how great it is to be a mom..you don't really live until you get that feeling of being a mom. BLAH.  This is when I.hate.facebook.

Last weekend I caught up with a fellow IF friend. It was soo nice to be able to chat and actually air our dirty laundry about all this over many many drinks.  Blogging is therapy, but talking to a fellow IF is priceless.

As much as the hubby and I have open communication about this, talking to a fellow IF is different.  I love my hubby to pieces but it's hard for him to understand sometimes, despite his best efforts.  And it's easier to hide feelings because it makes him sad that I'm sad.

This couple has gone thru soooo much heartache and I pray their next step works out for them <3  This is probably the first time I literally want it to happen for them rather than us.  Thinking about all we've gone thru feels like a drop in the bucket to their journey.

Sending prayers out in the universe for them and for us. Because, yes, I'm saying it, WE DESERVE GOODNESS.  And I refuse to settle for less.

Cheers to my last weekend in my "early thirties" <gulp>!

...and sadly when I think of my birthday, I think tick-tock my time is running out.