This is one of my all time fav movies. It's funny, seksi and takes place mostly in France. Love it. The part where she is trying to get her fiance back and says "I feel nothing"?? That's how I feel, still. Yesterday I blogged about not feeling mad, sad, etc and I feel the same today. Nothing. Except crampy and achy and running the Half Marathon in 5 days is the last thing I want to do.
I should feel mad at my body as I have in the past, sad that it's still, after 3.5 yrs, treating me badly. I should be wondering what is our next step, calling our RE and asking about the BC and my short cycle. But I have no desire to. I did call and ask whether to continue taking this cycle of BC or start the next but I missed the return call. And I haven't called back.
I should feel sad that two of my friends and two family members just had their babies. But I don't. I feel happy that I can sleep a full nights sleep without waking up, I feel happy that I can run 10 miles if I want to (which I don't ha ha). I feel happy that I have 5 days to spend with FD (the hubby) this weekend without interruptions (except work, blah).
What does this mean?? I thought I wanted a baby...do I? Am I just sad and I don't know how to deal with it, so indifference is it? I have no idea.
Maybe my body is telling me it's time to stop. I've mentioned Tertia's "time to stop" post before, and the thought of not trying anymore kills me. It's giving up and we 'familia' don't give up. Not until we've fought tooth and nail to get what we want.
So that's what we'll do. Keep Fighting.