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Hello and Welcome! We are just another couple struggling with infertility but having fun and trying to enjoy the journey.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Pregnancy bellies

Pregnant women glow.

I'm sorry if you're reading this and pregnant or know someone who is pregnant or at one time you were pregnant but I'm going to share my dirty little secret...

I hate pregnant bellies.

They are all around us.  Friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, celebrities.  Being an IF, I know I'm not alone, but I may be alone in admitting it.  Free speech right?  They make me feel at first sad (for me), then envious, then mad, then jealous.  Geesh, it's like a 12 step process.  I wonder if the FD (the hubby) feels the same way I do when we see them.

Case in point. We were traveling over the weekend and the lady behind us in line at the airport was super preggers and adorable.  I looked at her and I wondered if she could read what was going through my mind and how I was wishing I had sunglasses on so she didn't think I was creepy.

I know it's a terrible thing, really I do, but I can't help it.  When my sister (God bless her) first found out she was pregnant I was sooo happy for her but sooooo sad for me  (and I'm sure she could tell). I spent many a night feeling sorry for myself.  How we are always the ones left in the dust.  Fast forward to now, my niece is going to be 1 in June! And I couldn't be happier.  The bellies bother me, babies don't.

Which brings me to my point (long winded) do I want to be pregnant or do I want a baby? They are two totally different things.

I know one of my sisters is going to announce a pregnancy again while we still TTC and while it sucks for me, I really have no choice but to move on.


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